Haikus: Vol. 3

A HAIKU FOR LIFEGUARDS:

I SIT IN THE HEAT

KIDS SCREAM FOR HOURS ON END

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I WISH THEY WOULD DROWN

SO MUCH SAND IN ME

I CRUNCH EVERY TIME I MOVE

I HOPE THATS NORMAL

I WOULD LOVE TO RUN

TO RUN THROUGH FIELDS AND PRAIRIES 

BUT I DONT HAVE LEGS

I SWALLOWED FIVE KNIVES

BUT THEY DIDNT COME BACK UP

NOW I HAVE SLICED GUTS

I GO TO THE PARK

KIDS RUN AWAY TERRIFIED

IS IT MY CHAINSAW?

BEING BORED IS BAD

I MIGHT CATCH THINGS ON FIRE

GIVE ME STUFF TO DO

I WENT TO THE PARK

I SCARED KIDS WITH MY BICEPS

NOW IM BANNED FROM THERE