Finding Motivation

I have a paper to finish writing by ten tomorrow morning, but I have run out of the willpower to finish it. Every time I try to continue, I blink and another hour has gone by. This is a list of anything I'd rather do than this paper. I will continue until I come across something I wouldn't rather do. And that is when I will go write some more. I'll start easy so it'll take longer.

• Not write a paper.
• Shop for food.
• Eat food.
• Become food.
• Clean my room. 
• Take out the trash.
• Wash my clothes.
• My homework for other classes.
• Wake up in the morning after I drank milk and forgot to brush my teeth before falling asleep.
• Rub sandpaper all over my body for two minutes straight.
• Stomp on my own foot as hard as I can.
• Pluck out my chest hairs one by one.
• Accidentally kick a chair with my bare pinky toe while walking.
• Do twenty handshakes with people who let their wrists go limp.
• Read literally anything else besides the music history readings I'm supposed to be using for this paper.
• Let a roach crawl up one leg and down the other.
• Eat a hot banana.
• Get my hands sticky and not wash them afterwards.
• Twist my finger until it has turned 180 degrees.
• Twist my foot until it's turned 180 degrees.
• Twist my head until it's turned 180 degrees. Assuming it would just hurt, not break it.
• Eat spicy ice cream.
• Stand on my head for fifteen minutes with no break.
• Roll down a hill with lots of pine cones.
• Be pantsed in front of people.
• Get salt on my palms and rub my nipples for 20 seconds.
• Be tickled for 10 minutes straight.
• Take cold showers for the rest of my life.
• Never take a shower again for the rest of my life.
• Skin both of my knees and my elbows.
• Have to pick something up that I dropped in a used toilet.
• Puke.
• Be the only person in the world who couldn't walk on his hands.
• Get silly-puddy stuck in my armpit hairs.
• Pet a kitten.
• Learn how to be responsible.
• Puke with my mouth closed so it has to come out of my nose.
• Walk barefoot across a hot parking lot.
• Not wear deodorant for a week.
• Get splinters on the bottom of my feet.

I honestly can't think of anything other than the typical dying, breaking something, being poor, etc. things. The only thing I can think of is at least it's not the 10-12 page paper that we have to write later in the year. But that's the worst consolation prize ever. Now I'm even less motivated to write this paper. Great.