Vestiges

Vestiges are outdated- unimportant. No one needs them, and we can all live without them. No one actually likes vestiges. When was the last time you heard someone say "Oh, I just love my palmaris longus muscle!"? Unless Palmaris was actually in the room listening to everything you were saying, people wouldn't even think to say that. The only time vestiges are noticed is when they're causing problems; you don't worry about your appendix until it bursts. The best way to deal with a broken vestige? Remove it from your body and throw it away.

You are composed of vestiges. Not a single facet about you has changed- you remain stationary, always there whether you're needed or not. Just like a vestige, you sit there. Unwanted, Unneeded.

Oh, that joke again? This argument again? An eerily familiar story. Please tell it again, I think it'll be more entertaining a sixth time. No, really, it's fascinating. Honest.

You neither grow nor decay; you just exist. I look back to when we first met, and I can see how things have changed, how people have changed, and how you have remained the same. In a world that's rapidly evolving, you remain a constant. You can't seem to make yourself helpful to anyone. The only time you occupy our thoughts is when you pick fights and create conflict. Each vestige of your personality- every annoying trait- has grown old and useless.

The phrases you use over and over? -Vestige

The jokes you've run into the ground and killed? -Vestige

That look you give us? -Vestige

That tone of voice you use? -Vestige

Your unwarranted air of superiority? -Vestige

Your ability to create conflict out of nothing? -Vestige

You once served a purpose. You were helpful at one point. But now, due to your unwillingness to change, I must get you out of me. But, just like a vestige, it will be a hassle to remove you. You thrive off of causing problems because it's the only time you feel important. Even though a burst appendix is only getting bad attention, it's at least getting some kind of attention, right? That must mean it's important, right? Or maybe that means it's just a nuisance.

We have learned to live without you. You are now just extra baggage. You are unchanging, excess, and a nuisance. You are outdated, unimportant, and unneeded. You are vestigial. You failed to adapt with us, so now we must leave you behind.