Raise Indirect Bullying Awareness

There is a crisis emerging in the United States. Without warning, your kid could be susceptible to it- whether they are young or old, fat or skinny, short or tall. They are still at risk no matter if they are cool or geeky.  They are in danger even if they're at school.

Especially at school.

Despite what the picture above may imply, the crisis is not kids being run over by reckless bus drivers. While that should also important to you parents out there, the real danger is the fact that your kids are being bullied every day, no matter who they are. Each day, they go into class worrying about what their peers will think of them. They worry about if their clothes are 'cool' enough or if (unless they're middle-schoolers) they smell decently enough. They are worried they might be acting too smart, but at the same time are afraid of acting too dumb. They are constantly trying to maintain some tedious medium of what is considered "normal." Kids just want to be accepted by other kids no matter what it takes.

I can already hear what you old people are saying to yourselves right now: "Well, duh..I was a kid too once! Don't talk to me about bullying like I don't know. Bullying is just what kids do; even I was bullied!" But let me explain.

The problem here isn't that you were bullied. I completely agree that it's what kids do. The problem is that you were bullied and were bitter about it. Everything in your life became an effort in trying to 'show those bullies that they were wrong.' This view slowly became your mentality and persisted even after you got away from the childish bullying of your school days. You were so bitter, and then you decided to raise children.

Now, I'm not here to judge your irresponsible behavior, but can someone explain to me how this would ever be a good idea?

What happened, then, was that you had children- young children with soft, malleable minds that had yet to form any lasting impressions-  and you bombarded them with your subtle anti-bullying ideals. You had a responsibility in guiding a human life, in molding a fresh human mind, and in teaching them right from wrong. And you messed it up.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's important to teach your kids that bullying is wrong. But the way you did it didn't make the kids decide that bullying was any worse or socially unacceptable than previous generations. You did it in such a way that just made them even more determined not to be caught bullying. In your desperate attempt to raise a generation of peaceful, accepting children you instead raised a generation of sneaky, devious bullies. And these bullies have introduced a new way to exclude, pick on, and generally torment your child.

Just kidding. You haven't messed them up that badly.

What the bullies do now is indirectly abuse your child. Instead of openly picking on your kid, the bullies are beginning to take a more passive, yet still effective, way to build themselves up while tearing others down. They have started to form their own little bully-packs, roaming around the playground and looking to leech self-esteem from your child specifically. In their packs, they wander around, talking openly about predetermined "cool" things. Once their collective views are stated, they begin to discount the views that seem to oppose.

 It's really very smart; they say things like "Oh yeah, John Mayer is such a good singer. All the cool people I know think so, too." And then the whole group agrees while pretty much saying the same exact thing. But they only do this around kids that are by themselves. Because to kids, if you're in a group, you're cool. If you're by yourself, you must not be cool. The bullies know this and always seem to know just what the lonesome kids don't like, so they can parade about proclaiming how awesome it is. And they can't get caught. They're not technically putting anyone down, just building up people who agree while leaving those who don't behind. It's a compliment given to everyone except the target. And it sucks. I know because I've been a recent victim of this type of bullying.

I was walking by myself (the first problem) out of Wind Symphony (actually this is the first and biggest problem. Seriously, fuck Wind Symphony). All of a sudden there was a group of fellow Wind Symphony members behind me, talking to each other fairly loudly. Interested, I listened in.

Guy #1: "Hey, do you guys call it a book bag or a backpack?"
Girl: "Um..a backpack. Duh."
Guy #2: "Yeah, is that even a question? Back pack all day every day."
Guy #1: "Ok good. THAT'S a relief. I was afraid that you guys might have called it a book bag."
[The whole group erupts with laughter. It feels like they've all got their mouths pointed straight towards me, forcing me to hear their laughs.]
Me (thinking): Man..I call it a book bag..I didn't know that was wrong..
Guy #2: "I mean, I don't know of anyone that calls it a book bag any more. I probably stopped talking to all those people in Pre-K."
[More laughter]
Girl: "Yeah, like every time I hear someone call it a backpack, I instantly have a lot of respect for them. I really do."
Guy #1: "I know what you mean. Whenever I hear someone call it a book bag, it just sounds like they're saying it while sucking on their thumb."
Guy #2: "I'm so glad none of us call it a book bag. Let's be friends forever because of that."
Guy #1: "I like that. This is just such an important thing that humans need to bond over."
Girl: "I'll drink to that!"
Guy #1: "A toast, then! Not just to us, but to everyone in the world that calls it a backpack! May we live long and stay strong, cause we're never wrong!"
All three: "Cheers!"
[The clinking of wine glasses echoes through the air.]
Me (thinking): This sucks..Where the hell did they even get wine glasses?

Answer: Out of their backpacks.

So there you have it. This indirect bullying is the latest addition to the ever-growing list of things that threaten your child. Do your part in raising awareness: Start a campaign, put up fliers and posters, talk to your kid, talk to the teachers, or even just pass this blog post around to everyone you know (I am shameless).



Also, if you ever meet anyone that calls their purse a handbag, run away quickly. Because if book bags are for carrying books around, what do you think handbags are for?