Haikus: Vol. 6

Laying in my bed
Contemplating my life now
It needs more hookers

A pet bird named Bird
My family's creative
A pet cat named Cat

At church, people scream
The priest faints and children cry
Next time I'll wear pants

Mom says go outside 
I do; SPLAT- hit by a truck
Mother doesn't care

I'm The Ice Cream Man
I'm wanted in seven states
I stole twenty kids

I said "walk it off"
The boy looked at me, so sad
He didn't have legs

If I got TB
I'd cough on everyone
That'd show them who's boss

I said "Go ask Mom"
Brother looked at me sadly
We are both orphans


Blind man walks by fish
He takes a deep sniff and says,
"Good morning, ladies"